Red is Love

So I'm not one of those people who keep a journal or book for my thoughts, but I feel like a blog is a good place to vent feelings and such every once in a while.

I'm taking a little detour from my normal writing to do a bit of a sentimental post. I downloaded the new Taylor Swift album 'Red' when it came out last week. I have been listening to it quite a bit, but for different reasons than one may think.

Back in May, I lost a really good friend of mine. Justin passed away playing the game he loved, lacrosse. He was your average jock kind of guy who loved hockey, talking about girls but mostly lacrosse. His whole life seemed to revolve around the sport. His death was very unexpected and it broke my heart and made me feel helpless for a while. It bothered me that no one could figure out what happened and why he died. I never knew how to deal with it until I found people to talk to who were going through it as well.

Back to the Taylor Swift bit. When Justin and I met, well we were babies. Our parents are good friends from working at the Winnipeg Arena back in the day. We grew apart for a while but about three years ago we started talking again. We hung out a lot and became really close. The first time we drove together, he had the station on country. I remember him saying "I hope you like country, because I'm not changing it." From there on we always talked and hung out and just became as close as friends could be.

One of Justin's favourite artists was Taylor Swift. So of course when her new album came out, I couldn't stop listening to it for a while because it just made me sad and happy to think about it. It was also announced this past weekend that Taylor Swift is coming to Winnipeg in June 2013 for a concert. I just can't get over how Justin would have loved that and sometimes it makes me mad that he had to go so early and wasn't able to experience this.

A song I was listening to while writing this actually perfectly describes how I feel sometimes. "This is when the feeling sinks in. I don't wanna miss you like this. Come back, be here. Come back, be here." I have had such strong people in my life to help me talk about and get through this. Justin's mom for example has been the best and the rest of Justin's family have been like my second family. Sometimes, the best way to let out what you're feeling is to just cry with people you care with. I was in school at the time and working three jobs and I wanted my life to just stop. It bothered me that I had to go on with things for a while and some days I would just come home from work and cry for hours until it seemed like there was nothing left. My biggest regret would have been not talking to friends and family sooner. Once I did, it helped a lot and it made things seem a little bit better as each day went by.

I wanted to keep this post short and sweet since it wasn't really a topic I normally write about but like I said, writing and talking sometimes just help get through the toughest times. I find it hard that no matter how old you get and no matter how smart you can be, death still doesn't make sense. For Justin to pass away at such a young age and not be able to experience more of his life kills me sometimes. Knowing how he impacted so many people though touches my heart and I will always remember him for being the best friend he was. Love you Justin, RIP. xo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8YMb4qFzzE